


What Happened?

by orphan_account



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Character Death, Gen, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Sad, Self-Harm, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:28:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3740803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Originally posted on FanFiction.net.) When Hiro was younger, he was a very happy boy.  Within the course of a year, though, his happiness faded after a series of traumatic events that turn out to shape the rest of his life.  His family can't help but ask themselves what went wrong, but this story details the situations that caused Hiro's demise.  From his lack of care towards his wounds or his desperate cries for help, Hiro's struggle is documented here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happened?

**Author's Note:**

> Edited and stuff. Lots of editing. Reposted, also. So, yes, indeed, this is a repost. I guess now it’s a… one-shot? Is 10,000+ words too much for a one-shot?  
> The TW’s are for rape, self-harm, character death, suicide, and overall angst.

**One Hour**

Hiro was running.  His feet were pounding the pavement, flinging him forward.  He could feel the wind on his face and the stitch developing in his side, but still he didn’t stop.  He couldn’t stop.  He couldn’t stop until he was all the way back at Aunt Cass’s.  Then he could breathe.  He didn’t need to breathe until then. 

He was actually a little surprised when he ran into the café, the bell jingling behind him, and sprinted up to his room.  He didn’t think he could get home _that_ fast. 

When Hiro found himself standing in his room, the door shut behind him and locked, staring at the same room that he usually had with his brother’s side and everything being… _normal_ , he didn’t know what to do with himself.  He slowly caught his breath and tried his best to stop the flood of memories from realizing their power.  Instead he changed his clothes and quickly went to the bathroom to wash himself.  He made sure to grab a fresh towel, first. 

When Hiro got to the bathroom, he turned the water’s heat way up and sat down in the tub, the water pounding his matted hair.  He rested his cheek on his hand and started thinking.  It was what he did whenever he was in a tough robotics situation, so he figured that an actual life problem would probably work the same… right? 

Hiro’s first thought was, of course, _I should have listened to Aunt Cass and Tadashi._   They told him numerous times to stop bot fighting.  He, being a thick-headed kid, didn’t listen.  He just kept doing it and… well, now look where he was. 

After Hiro pushed that thought aside, he let the memories wash over him of what had just happened.  He had to figure out what had caused it, how to fix himself, and how to prevent it from happening again. 

What had caused it…?  Hiro had pushed the other bot fighters again.  They were beat by a tiny kid – of course he couldn’t have their money!  He made fun of them, too, and rubbed salt into their metaphorical (or… metaphysical?) wounds.  Alongside that, he was also with a particularly rough group of sick fucks who had different ideals and lower morals than he did. 

How to fix himself was a little bit more complicated.  If this were a robot then he would repair the parts that had been broken or replace them, but he couldn’t just do that with a brain.  He could let Cass and Tadashi know –

_Don’t tell anyone, kid, this happens all the time and no one cares.  Besides, look at yourself.  You love it._

Hiro shivered at the wisp of memory.  It was, disgustingly, true.  In some primitive, terrible way, he _did_ love it.  He hated himself for it, but he had to sort through all of the facts, and that was one of them. 

So, he could leave fixing himself for later. 

Preventing it was simple.  He would never bot fight again. 

Hiro looked at himself, absentmindedly noting that he had failed to remove all of his clothing before he got into the shower.  He was only wearing boxers and socks, though, so that was okay.  He just slipped out of those and threw them into the sink tiredly.  He didn’t have the energy to deal with that bullshit at the moment, he had to think about his life, first. 

Hiro, rather than thinking at all, curled up into a ball in the shower and tried to cry.  The tears never came, though, so he turned off the water, dried off, and went to bed.  Tadashi saw him but didn’t say anything. 

Hiro wasn’t surprised; Tadashi probably knew about the bot fighting and was mad about that.  He would get an earful later, but he wasn’t going to care. 

Hiro went to his bed and curled up numbly.  He didn’t… he hadn’t _felt_ anything yet (aside from some pain in his ass, he noted dryly).  Maybe he was in shock?  That would make sense.  He had no _reason_ to try and feel himself, though, so he just laid down and didn’t feel.  He was clothed for sleep, so he fell asleep.  That’s how life works after a tragedy, isn’t it?  You follow the patterns that you used to follow because they made sense, and you tried your best to avoid variation at first. 

Hiro let his jumbled thoughts flow as he fell asleep, trying to accept what happened.  He slept dreamlessly for a couple of hours, but when he did start dreaming it was in flashes of skin and dirt and blood from the day before.  He woke up in a cold sweat and decided to start messing with his robotic parts because he didn’t want to go back to bed.  He noted that Tadashi wasn’t snoring in his bed they way that he usually would be. 

Hiro wanted to scream.  The entire stupid robotic system wasn’t working for him – his usually helpful brain wasn’t helping him!  It was supposed to be big and fast and amazing, but instead it was just failing him and not focusing on the wires in front of him.  The boy groaned in frustration when he nicked his finger on a sharper piece of metal, the blood forming a red pearl over the deep cut. 

Hiro banged his head against the table, tears forming in his eyes.  He went over the facts now, feeling shame pile onto his shoulders now that he admitted how much he had messed up. 

Number one.  He was an illegal bot fighter.  That wasn’t new and was easy to say (or… think). 

Number two.  He had gotten himself into a bad situation via bot fighting, thanks to his own, massive ego. 

Number three.  Hiro Hamada was no longer a virgin. 

Hiro took a deep breath, every inch of his skin burning.  He swallowed, trying to ignore the bile that threatened to find its exit.  Instead, he went back to the cool and sharp metals and wires that he was working with. 

Hiro pulled at the green wire, sighing to himself.  If he were to take it out then it would really just be a shell, like himself, and then he could fill it with red wires and set the stupid thing off in his own face. 

Hiro stared blankly at the innards of his robot.  It didn’t even have a red wire – and, he reminded himself, his wires weren’t necessarily the traditional red and green.  He found, distantly, that the imaginary red wire was just the blood from his finger.  

He grabbed some magnetic shells and opened them, using some tweezers to build up a foundation and add wires that connected to the radio-frequency in his controller, adding a backup Bluetooth extension and just messing around in the little ball.  Finally, he soldered the ball closed.  It was only about a centimeter in diameter. 

Hiro moved the ball around with his controller, staring at it blankly.  All it could do was stick to things that were metal or repel away from metal things.  The next thing Hiro knew, he was playing with the sharp piece of metal from earlier.  His finger had bled a lot, but it had finally stopped.  He looked at how the blood went onto the table, pooling like water but moving much more slowly. 

Hiro stiffened when Tadashi opened their door.  They made eye-contact, Hiro squeezing the piece of metal into his hand.  It bit into his flesh but didn’t break the skin. 

“Hiro?  Did I wake you up when I got up?  Why are you up – and what are you doing?” Tadashi asked, his eyes scanning the work area that Hiro was sat at. 

“I was masturbating,” Hiro said flatly before getting back into his bed and curling up into himself.  The metal was pulsing in his hand, burning with the urge to spill everything to Tadashi.  The older didn’t notice anything being off. 

“Okay,” Tadashi scoffed, rolling his eyes.  He got into his own bed after turning off the lights.  Hiro shuttered, curling up into himself and sighing. 

What was he going to do? 

-

**Six Hours**

Hiro had lain in bed for about an hour before accepting that he wasn’t going to get any more sleep.  When he finally got up in order to stop himself from stagnating in the too-soft bed, he went and sat next to Tadashi’s bed. 

“Are you asleep?” Hiro whispered.  He was met by Tadashi’s usual, soft snoring.  “Thank god, I would never be able to say this to you,” he admitted, playing with the ratty tee-shirt that he wore to bed.  “So, I went out bot fighting again – I know, you’re disappointed and I shouldn’t do that anymore.  You’re right, as much as I hate to say it.  The adrenaline may be the best feeling ever, but… well.  You were right.  I got hurt, and I don’t know what to do.  I can’t tell you or Cass, since… well, you guys would wish you tried harder.  You would wish you could have done something, but it isn’t your guys’ fault.  And besides, it’s not that big of a deal.  I’m fourteen.  Loads of fourteen-year-olds lose their virginity.  Well, is it really my virginity?  I mean, really, I was fucked up the ass, it’s not the traditional kind of… you know. 

“I hate to say it, but the only way that I can talk about this without crying is making sarcastic jokes.  When they were done, even, one guy was like _what do you have to say for yourself?_ ” Hiro chuckled, his voice weak.  “I said that he could have at least bought me dinner first – or even have kissed me.  Wait, I still haven’t had my first kiss.  That’s kind of ironic, I’m not a virgin but I haven’t kissed anyone.  Oh well.  You know, in the moment it actually felt pretty good.  I mean, if I were to consent to it, then that would mean a lot of that shit would probably feel hella awesome,” Hiro smiled to himself, not realizing that tears were streaming down his face.  Tadashi shifted in his bed and Hiro froze, holding his breath.  “ _Please_ don’t wake up,” he whispered.  Tadashi resumed snoring shortly, drool slowly finding its way out of his mouth. 

“Thanks for… listening,” Hiro said, shaking his head.  He grabbed his phone (which he had bought using the money that he earned in bot fighting) and started reading up on some stuff and just playing on it until Tadashi’s alarm went off.  He winced when that happened, setting down the phone and pretending to be asleep. 

Tadashi kissed Hiro on the forehead and talked to him, thinking the boy was asleep.  “I miss you, little bro.  I wish you wouldn’t bot fight… I could never forgive myself if something happened to you.  Just… tell me how to help and I’ll do it.  I’ll do _anything_.  But I can’t take you apart and figure you out, Hiro, so you have to talk to me… Have a safe day,” he said to his little brother desperately.  Hiro’s eyes remained closed, tears threatening to bud in the lip of his eye. 

Tadashi left his brother laying there.  Hiro, choking back a sob, listened to his brother leave.  He knew that he was at a stalemate.  He couldn’t _tell_ Tadashi but he couldn’t _not_ _tell_ Tadashi.  He decided to lay low… for the time being.  He could handle this himself… probably. 

Besides, Tadashi said it himself.  He could never forgive himself if something happened to Hiro.  When Hiro got hurt, so did Tadashi… so he had to act okay for the time being – for the sake of Tadashi. 

-

**Twelve Hours**

Hiro was trying, he really was, but customer service was _not_ his field of expertise. 

“Um… can I have the crescent, please?” The girl asked, her voice a high-pitched drawl.  Hiro took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. 

“ _Which one?_ ” He hissed, his hands itching to pull his own hair out.  “There is a list of flavors.”

“Oh, uh… what are the flavors?” She asked.  Hiro had to stop himself from screaming. 

“My elementary school teacher was wrong; there are stupid questions,” he murmured, loud enough for her to hear and shoving the list of baked goods into her face.  There was an _entire section_ of crescents. 

“Did you just call me stupid?” She snapped, glaring at the boy.  He rolled his eyes so hard he thought that he might not be Asian anymore. 

“I don’t think you’re stupid, but what’s my opinion against a thousand others’,” he replied in a bored manner.  Her eyes widened. 

“Where’s your manager!  You could get fired for saying that to a customer!” She screeched.  Her voice reminded him of a first-year clarinet player’s. 

He scoffed and called out, “hey Aunt Cass, this lady wants to talk to you…” to her, he added, “you better let her talk first, age before beauty and all, though she obviously has you beat in both categories.”

With that, Hiro left the counter and went to bus some tables, snickering to himself.  He knew that he was going to get an earful from Aunt Cass, but for now he was going to play innocent. 

Later, when the lunch rush was over, Aunt Cass grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him into the kitchen. 

“Okay, Hiro, _what’s_ been up with you?  You’ve extremely rude today, this isn’t the first customer you’ve done this to,” she hissed, looking at him with her eyebrows up in the air and waggling angrily.  Hiro shrugged.  “Out with it!”

Hiro shrugged again, but then he figured that he might as well tell her that he wasn’t bot fighting anymore. 

“I’ve been really restless and antsy.  I’m not fighting anymore, so I have a lot of energy – wait did you see that girl’s face though?  Who knew that it could get so red,” he sniggered. 

Aunt Cass flicked him in the ear.  “I’m really happy but I’m also mad at you too so… ugh.  I’m really proud of you!” She said angrily.  “No more customer service for you, mister!  Now let’s clean up some,” she said, hugging her nephew.  He hugged back, chuckling. 

“I love you, Cass,” he said, smiling warmly. 

“I love you too, Hiro,” she returned, pulling back.  “Oh, last hug!” She added, hugging him again before returning to cleaning up the café. 

During the rest of the day, Hiro had managed to completely forget about the sharp metal in his pillow case and a majority of his other problems. 

-

**Seventeen Hours**

Hiro looked around the café – it was closed now, and all cleaned up.  He smiled to himself and then made eye contact with Aunt Cass.  He wasn’t in the mood for sneaking out, even though he did it all the time.  Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t sleep well the night before, or maybe that he hadn’t eaten yet that day (only because he wasn’t hungry, of course). 

“I’m going out,” he said simply.  She blinked and stared at him for a minute.  Before she could say anything, though, he was gone. 

She wasn’t happy about it, but she put the modicum of trust that she still had in him and trusted him to text her if anything went wrong.  She quickly grabbed her phone and decided to tell him to do so.  There was no use in stopping him, though, he had done this before and if she stopped him then he would just manage to sneak out. 

_Make sure that you’re safe!! And also, know that I love you!  If you wanted you could also tell me where you are! –CH_

_Okay, I love you too, and I’m safe, I’m just getting some air and maybe meeting with some friends (from my old school).  Don’t worry and don’t wait up. –Hiro_

_OK, I love you!!!!!!!!  And don’t think we’re not talking about this when you get home!  –CH_

Cass sighed.  She didn’t know what to do other than go to bed and wait for sleep that wouldn’t come without a fight (involving a lot of food and some cough medicine, don’t tell Tadashi).  She was going to lose all of her hair from worrying about Hiro at this rate. 

Hiro walk into downtown and used his fake ID to get into a bar.  It was obvious that he wasn’t eighteen, but the bouncer just glared at him and scanned his ID before letting him in.  Hiro went to the mass of hot and dancing bodies, immediately being sucked in.  After a bit, a girl smiled at him and made her way over to him, grinding up into his ass.  “Aren’t you a little young to be here?”

“Aren’t you?” He replied, grinding back.  He was unsure of how to socialize in a bar like this, so he followed her cues.  That seemed to work pretty well, though, seeing that she wasn’t beating the hell out of him.    

“I’m flattered,” she replied, talking into his ear now.  The music was loud, but not loud enough to cancel out the sound of his own heartbeat that seemed to go in time with the music.  She bit onto his lobe and he smiled to himself.  His heartbeat was speeding up as he realized that this was _exactly_ what he needed.  He turned around slowly, grinding into her and feeling his pants grow tight. 

“Can we take this… _somewhere else_?” He whispered back.  She nodded eagerly, pulling him to the bar and grabbing a couple drink.  She handed Hiro a girly drink that he took and drank down quickly, watching her take a couple shots.  The drink made his head feel a tad fuzzy, but it wasn’t too strong. 

Then, she dragged him to her car, and they fucked in the back seat – Hiro would have said that they made love in the back seat, but that way by no means true.  What they did was messy, wild, and filled with lust and self-hatred. 

They didn’t forget the condom, thankfully. 

When they were both satisfied, Hiro stumbled home with her number written on his arm and his knees being wobbly.  She said that if he ever wanted to do it again, he should call her and they could have nameless sex.  She also told him that she wasn’t into the whole _getting to know each other_ thing.  They _could_ talk, if he needed someone or if she needed someone, but she didn’t want to have to know Hiro to fuck him, she clarified. 

Then she made him get out so that she could sleep off her drinks and go home. 

-

**One Day**

When Hiro got home, he took a shower, brushed his teeth, and did his laundry.  It wasn’t hard to do these things without waking up Tadashi and Cass because they were heavy sleeps and the running water was rather quiet. 

When Hiro finished hanging up his clothes to dry (glad that they no longer smelled of alcohol and cigarettes), he made his way to his room. 

He was surprised to find that Tadashi was awake, working on his plans for a robot.  Tadashi looked at Hiro, shocked, and then glanced at his bed, where Hiro’s pillow was wadded up with his blankets.  He had assumed that Hiro was in the mess on his bed. 

“Hey, bro,” Hiro said, trying not to slur his words or anything.  His tongue felt heavy and the world was spinning a shade, but other than that he didn’t really feel drunk or anything.  Tadashi clicked his tongue. 

“Were you bot fighting?” Tadashi asked angrily. 

“Nah, I was with some friends,” Hiro replied, shrugging.  “I don’t even have any robots with me.”

Tadashi hummed and shook his head.  “I’m going to go to bed, you should do so, too,” Tadashi said.  Hiro was asleep by the time Tadashi had finished his sentence.  Tadashi chuckled and tucked his (broken) brother in, not knowing how bad Hiro had it.  He also went to bed, not thinking anything of how late Hiro was coming home.  After all, it was only midnight. 

-

**Two Days**

When Hiro woke up, it was in a cold sweat.  His muscles ached and his head was throbbing a little, but he wasn’t in too much pain.  He stretched out and looked at the time. 

2:31, the digital clock read.  He blankly stared at it until he decided to get up.  He didn’t really feel like doing anything, though, so he just read mindlessly on his phone.  He also shot the girl from last night a text. 

_Hey, it’s Hiro from last night.  I never caught your name, but I wanted to make sure you got home safely. –Hiro_

She didn’t reply, but he figured that she was asleep.  He instead grabbed a book and decided to read that, laying on the couch lazily.  The book was pretty good, and he enjoyed reading it.  He couldn’t read more than a couple chapters, though, because his head was hurting and he just didn’t have to will to read it. 

After pacing around the house for a while, he figured he could grab some robotics stuff and take it to the living room, messing with it and making himself a pot of coffee.  He wasn’t making anything… _good_ , though.  He just copied the designs mega-bot and applied it to more practical uses – like serving the customers and things like that (though, Aunt Cass didn’t allow that anymore).  He had also grabbed that sharp piece of metal from his pillowcase and spared it a lot of glances. 

Then he held it in his hand for a while. 

Then he went back to fiddling with wires and staring at the little piece of metal. 

Then he looked up _‘self-harm’_ on his phone.  He had to research anything like _this_ that he even _thought_ about doing…

It was said to be a terrible thing in a lot of cases, but some people also said that it helped. 

There were a lot of pictures of perfectly straight cuts on their arms, some of them still bleeding.  Something about this was… it was very appealing to Hiro.  So, he lifted up his sleeve and stared at the skin, which was a pale brown that almost seemed to glow in the dim light.  He scrunched up his face for a second before sliding it across. 

Then, he let out a string of curse words.  He couldn’t help it because it _stung,_ thought he knew that it would have.  Then, the stinging subsided and he was able to watch the little red pearls gather.  He didn’t notice he was shaking until then, the little meniscuses wobbling on the crease that was his broken skin.  They slowly swelled greater and greater, until two of them joined and started making its way down his arm.  He smiled at this, but then leaned down and licked the blood up because he didn’t want it to stain anything, and something in the back of his mind told him to do it.  The metallic taste exploded in his mouth and lingered there for a while. 

He sucked the little cut until it was almost done bleeding, and then he pulled back down his long-sleeved jacket.  He was glad that it was a darker color, since that meant that it wouldn’t be stained. 

Then he went back to his robots, the piece of metal earning its way into his pocket.  He played with the wires, his hands now much steadier, and he was able to focus and wire something of actual worth.  He smiled to himself.  Although his new habit hurt, it calmed him down significantly, though he couldn’t for the life of him explain why. 

He went through the rest of the day in a better mood – Tadashi even commented on it.  Hiro shrugged, avoiding any and all hugs and making sure that his sleeves stayed down.  It wasn’t until then that he realized how much he pushed up his sleeves in life. 

-

**One Week**

Hiro had gotten a total of eight hours of sleep. 

That week. 

In seven days, he had gotten eight hours of sleep. 

He was a walking zombie, but he didn’t particularly mind it, really.  He was completely fine, all he had to do was get through every day and not feel pain.  After all, he wasn’t _really_ hurting.  He was completely fine, actually.  It was a little surprising to him, but he was doing perfectly _fine_. 

Hiro hadn’t done anything particularly stupid for the rest of that week (aside from a few more nicks on his arm).  It was actually a little bit surprising.  But, he couldn’t argue with it.  Sure, he was tired and he hadn’t been eating regularly lately, but he had done plenty of inventing and he had no real reason to be upset. 

“Hiro,” Tadashi called, snapping him out of his daze.  “Your phone is ringing.”

Hiro nodded and picked it up. 

“Okay, so I’m… Hmm, to _you_ my name should be… Rose,” a female voice said, making Hiro chuckled. 

“Then I call dibs on Jack,” Hiro replied sarcastically.  “Or, maybe I could be The Doctor.  David Tennant, maybe?” He said, teasingly. 

“Jack fits the bill,” she replied.  Hiro put his rag on his shoulder and leaned back onto the counter.  Tadashi winked at him suggestively before getting back to his own work.  “And yes, I did get home safely.”

“That’s good, that’s what I wanted to be sure of.  How are you?” Hiro asked, not knowing what to say.  He had been so intimate with this girl but she wasn’t even telling him her real name. 

“Tired, sad, and horny,” she said blatantly.  Hiro blinked, letting there be a beat of paused before he replied. 

“Want to explain why you’re sad?” He asked.  She sighed. 

“My ex spread my nudes across the school; sometimes I wish I were dead.  Want to fuck?” She explained, sounding almost… bored.  Hiro nodded dumbly before remembering that he was on the phone.  He noticed Tadashi raise an eyebrow at his little brother in an amused fashion. 

“Yeah, where do you want to meet up?” Hiro asked, taking off his apron with the hand that wasn’t holding the phone. 

“I’ll pick you up, text me the address and we can go to a more secluded area,” she replied.  Hiro nodded again, putting everything away.  “Uh, hello?” She added, though with more sass than anything. 

“Oh, right, yeah, that sounds great, do you know the café the Lucky Cat?  I’m there right now.  See you then, Rose,” he said quickly. 

“See you, Jack.”

Hiro looked up with pleading eyes to his amused brother.  “I have to go, bye, okay?” He said with a questioning tone, his phone finding its way to his pocket. 

“Okay, have fun, and don’t hold hands with your little _girlfriend_ too hard,” Tadashi replied, smiling.  Hiro snorted. 

“Oh please, today she’s going to show me her ankle,” he replied sarcastically.  Tadashi gasped, feigning shock at this information.  Oh, if only he knew. 

“Stay safe,” Tadashi called out as Hiro left.  Hiro didn’t respond, and Tadashi saw him get into the car with a girl that was probably about seventeen.  Something about it felt off, but he didn’t think too much of it.  After all, Hiro _had_ graduated rather early. 

While they were driving, Hiro voiced his thoughts.  “Are you okay?”

“No,” Rose replied.  “But, I know that you don’t go to my school and I can find solace in that.  Do you need to get smashed to fuck or are you chill being sober?”

“I’m fine being sober,” he replied.  She smiled and pulled into a very abandoned parking lot, reaching down and grabbing a condom from one of the compartments in her car.  Hiro jumped into the back eagerly.  He noted, though, that those had been the only words that they had exchanged since their last meeting.  That was a little sad, since she was his only friend outside of his family. 

She was much more… controlling and possessive than he had remembered, but that made the experience all the more pleasurable.  She bit his neck and left hickeys and made him beg and played with his nipples, and over all she was just _controlling_ him.  It thrilled Hiro.  She made him call her ma’am.  He complied reluctantly and when he failed to do follow through with her request she would slap his thigh firmly. 

She rode him until he was speechless.  Well, it actually didn’t take long to make him speechless, but you get the picture. 

When they were done, she quickly got dressed.  “Do you have any – oh my god, could you get dressed _any more slowly?_ – Do you have any cash on you?  Dairy Queen sounds great right now,” she said, smiling.  Hiro was gaping at her and slowly getting his clothes on.  He blankly handed her a twenty (which he had left over from his bot fighting days) and she started driving once he was buckled in the front seat once again. 

“You might want to hide your neck from your family, by the way,” she said teasingly.  He blushed and his hands went to his neck, checking it out in a mirror while she drove.  “By the way, want to talk about the things on your wrist?” She said it casually, like it wasn’t a big deal and that he was being extremely paranoid for nothing.  She said it like it was _a thing,_ but it wasn’t something that she needed to put 110% effort into

Hiro shrugged.  “Not particularly,” he admitted.  She didn’t push it in the slightest as she bought a medium Double-Fudge-Cookie-Dough blizzard. 

“Do you want anything?” She asked.  He shook his head and she shrugged, giving him the change and eating while she drove.  “Do you want to do anything together or are you chill going home?”

“Home’s fine, same place you picked me up,” he said calmly.  She nodded and dropped him off there, smiling at him.  He covered up his neck and glared at her jokingly.  “I’ll see you again soon,” he added before she sped off. 

Hiro went and took a shower before his aunt or brother could catch him, running a fine-toothed comb over his hickeys so that they would break up more quickly.  He also grabbed his piece of metal guiltily, adding more to the small collection on his wrist.  There were only a few, and none of them would scar, he told himself.  Besides, he only did it when he was really stressed. 

When he was done, he went to his room wrapped up in a towel and got dressed in a high-necked hoodie, which he tied up tightly.  He saw Tadashi enter his room and he waved.  “Getting dressed as soon as you get home?  Hmm,” he teased. 

“I, uh, had to take care of some stuff,” Hiro said dumbly.  Tadashi chuckled. 

“I don’t need to know any more, Hiro, you’re my _little brother_ ,” Tadashi pretended to gag, making Hiro laugh also. 

“Not _that_ stuff,” he defended, but Tadashi just replied with a joking _mhm, sure_ and punched his brother on the shoulder.  “Ow,” Hiro said jokingly. 

The invention on their robotics desk activated. 

“Hello, my name is Baymax, your personal health provider,” the giant, white balloon said.  Hiro blinked at it, an eyebrow raised. 

“And I’m Jack, your sugar daddy,” Hiro replied sarcastically. 

“I’m unfamiliar with that slang,” Baymax said.  There was a pause.  “Scan complete.  Your weight is low, and signs of malnourishment are detected.  This may also be caused by an imbalance in your brain chemistry.  A lack of serotonin has been detected, amongst other chemical inadequacies.  Diagnosis could be: depression, or… puberty.  The need of sleep may be a cause of the chemical imbalance.  Also, higher hormone rates have shown that you have recently experienced intercourse.  Please, be sure to use protection, unless you wish to start a family.  If you do wish to start a family then please visit a family planning center soon.  Noting your young age, I should also inform you that sex before the age of eighteen often leads to problems such as… depression.  Finally, I would like to treat the scratches on your left arm, please lift your sleeve,” Baymax offered some bandages.  Hiro stared up at the robot blankly. 

“I think your robot is broken, Tadashi,” Hiro finally said.  Tadashi was staring at Hiro, slack-jawed. 

“I assure you, I am not broken.  I am fully functional and at ninety-eight point four… four percent charge,” Baymax said, his robotic voice resounding through the silence between the brothers.  “Please lift your sleeve and give me your arm… Jack, my sugar daddy.”

Hiro laughed dryly.  “Baymax, shut down, please,” he said, his voice hitching. 

“I cannot shut down until you tell me you are satisfied with your care,” Baymax replied. 

“Baymax version forty-two-point-six-two, override code four three two three, Tadashi Hamada,” Tadashi said, his voice like steel.  Hiro winced. 

“Shutting down,” Baymax said.  Hiro wished that Baymax wasn’t deflating because Baymax was a convenient robot to hide behind. 

“Hiro, what was it that Baymax was talking about?” Tadashi asked.  Hiro decided to make things seem as okay as possible, since there was no lying to Tadashi. 

“That girl I was with?  Yeah we did stuff but we didn’t have _sex_ , don’t worry about that.  And also I haven’t eaten since then, so that’s probably the whole _malnourishment_ thing.  The depression thing?  He said it himself, puberty,” Hiro defended.  He didn’t bring up the scratches on his arm. 

Tadashi narrowed his eyes.  That all made a lot of sense, but now that he thought about it, Hiro _had_ been acting strange.  “I’m telling Aunt Cass,” Tadashi said. 

Hiro shrugged calmly.  “Aunt Cass knows about the girl,” he lied.  “Tell her whatever you want, your robot is treating things that would easily take care of themselves.”

Tadashi swore under his breath.  It was actually rather likely now that he thought about it.  He had tested Baymax on himself – a young adult of pristine healthy – but he hadn’t taken into account teenagers or anything like that. 

“We’re talking more about this later,” Tadashi hissed.  “Now, we’re going to have lunch together, okay?  So that way the air between us can clear up a little bit.”

Tadashi dragged Hiro down the stairs and started cooking up some yakisoba.  Hiro was glad about that because he rather liked that dish. 

Hiro texted Rose while Tadashi cooked. 

_My brother just almost found everything out, but I managed to make it seem like nothing and he’s brushing it off because of how awesome of a liar I am, but for some reason I feel really betrayed that he didn’t do anything since he’s my older brother and he should be able to notice my bullshit.  It kind of pisses me off. –Hiro_

_How the hell would he have found everything out?  I mean, hickeys don’t scream “I AM CUTTING MYSELF” last time I checked.  Also, your phone has the stamp-signature thing turned on, you realize that, right?_

_I know, do you want me turn it off?  And he knows because he’s building this robot in college and it scanned me and listed off all “symptoms” that I have right now.  –Hiro_

_Please turn it off yes it’s really clutter-y.  And you’re shitting me, right?  Your brother build a robot that does that?  Is it a piece of shit?  Because if not then that’s hella, hella rad._

_No, it’s not a piece of shit, it’s really well built – that’s not the point though.  I’m just stressed as fuck and I don’t know what to do._

_I would say ‘me,’ Jackie Boy, but you just did that.  I don’t know.  Eat a lot?  That’s what I do when I’m stressed._

_I don’t eat when I’m stressed, Rose, but my aunt does that though.  I don’t know.  It’s just that breathing is really hard and takes a lot of effort, you know?  I’m going to eat lunch with him now, okay?_

_Sure, whatever floats your boat, I guess?  Bye._

Hiro shoved his phone into his pocket, gripping his piece of metal tightly in his hand.  Something about Rose’s lack of sympathy, though sometimes hurtful and not helpful in the slightest, was refreshing.  She got him out of his self-pity and made him look at the way things really were. 

Tadashi and Hiro talked about robotics.  Hiro talked about how, metaphorically, everything on the roadways could be programmed so that magnets could prevent almost all crashes.  Tadashi chuckled, nodding.  He also said that magnetics was going to consume Hiro’s brain, which he didn’t actually doubt.  It could be applied so much more than it was. 

-

**One Week**

Hiro laid on his back.  His stomach was so full and he felt like he was going to throw up.  He pushed past it, and after a couple of hours he felt fine, but that didn’t mean that eating that much was _comfortable_. 

When he was done calming his stomach, he curled up and took a nap.  It was only two in the afternoon, so he was expecting to wake up at three. 

He ended waking up at about seven… _the next morning_.  Hiro stared at Tadashi, who was getting ready for school, his mouth agape. 

“You didn’t wake me up?!  I just got _seventeen hours of sleep_ ,” Hiro said to Tadashi, who was fixing his tie.  He was going to college, but he would only be having lectures today so he was dressing in business casual.  If he wanted to work on his robot, though, he would be able to change at the university. 

“You seemed like you needed it, and besides, it was pleasant not having someone hog all of the internet bandwidth for once,” Tadashi said.  “I’m leaving Baymax home, so if you fall down or just in general say the _O-W_ word then he’ll activate.  It would be good for you to hang out with him, though, get him used to the teenage generation and you could get yourself fixed up.  He can’t legally give you any prescription drugs, but he can refer you to a doctor so watch out.”

“I’m _not_ activating him, and Tadashi?” The older brother looked up questioningly.  “I think it’s a bit of wishful thinking on your part to think that I would say _ow_ when I’m hurt.”

“Well, that’s not the only thing that activates him anymore,” Tadashi replied cockily.  Hiro stared at the little unit that was Baymax. 

“ _Shitting ball tits,”_ he said, staring at the box expectantly.  It didn’t move in the slightest, so he stared at Tadashi.  “It wouldn’t activate if I got hurt.”

“ _Language,”_ Tadashi reprimanded. 

“Uh, I’m pretty sure my language is English, but I could try it in Japanese,” Hiro teased.  Tadashi rolled his eyes. 

“I’m going to go to school now, okay?  Goodbye and make sure you get something to eat.”

“Bye,” Hiro called, getting up and stretching.  He decided to check his phone after Tadashi had left. 

_Hiro, I’m getting back together with my ex-boyfriend (yes, the one that I said sent the nudes out, but it was actually just to a select group of people, not to the whole school, long story, I forgave him).  If we’re ever single at the same time we could totally do this again, though.  Signed, your whore, Rose._

Hiro stared at the phone blankly.  So, just like that, Rose was out of his life… he no longer had her.  He… he didn’t know what to do with this information, so he laid down for a while.  The world washed over him, and he could feel the pain coursing just under his skin.  He felt guilty, even though she was technically the one that had hurt him. 

Suddenly, Hiro felt angry.  He had given her so much and she hadn’t even given him her name.  She had even _rejected_ his real name!  He threw the phone across the room, watching it clatter to the ground.  It wasn’t broken, he was sure, but if it was he would just fix it.  That didn’t really matter.  He stared at his phone, though, where it lay on the ground.  He felt sick to his stomach.  He knew he wasn’t dating Rose, but he still felt betrayed.  He felt wronged in some way that he had no right to feel. 

A small sob escaped his lips.  He was so… he was being so selfish, when he thought about it.  He was doing this to Rose and he was ignoring all of his real problems when really had been raped in a bot-fight-gone-wrong a week ago and he hated himself and didn’t know what to do so he was just being a total whore and he hated himself in every way.  He sobbed quietly, tears pouring down his face as he pulled up his sleeve and grabbed the piece of metal.  It was slowly getting blunter, but he was also getting more forceful with his cuts.  He would probably be able to cut himself with a marble at the rate that this was going (which would require a lot of pressure and force, and even more willpower).  He dragged it across his marred skin ten times, watching the blood build up and pour over.  He watched the little streams join and drip onto the ground – he was glad that they had hardwood floors, he noted absentmindedly.  If they didn’t then he would be screwed. 

He stared at the bleeding word on his arm.  _J_ , using two cuts, was the one with the most blood, even though _K_ was the deepest (and had more gashes, three).  The _A_ was taller than the _J_ , but Hiro didn’t mind that.  The _C_ had no memorable attributes, which made Hiro scoff.  To many people, he was the _C_.  He wasn’t memorable.  He was smart, yeah, but he wasn’t famous and didn’t make it known, which he was glad about.  He definitely wasn’t the tall _A_ , even if the tallness was just representing physical attributes.  He wasn’t the _J,_ because that would mean he was a leader and gave the most willingly.  He wasn’t the _K,_ either, because he never did things further than skin deep…

Hiro’s eyes widened.  In the word _JACK_ on his arm, the _K_ was extremely deep.  Deeper than he had ever cut, shitting balls that was not good in the slightest.  He hissed under his breath, looking around quickly and meeting…

A big, white marshmallow that was scanning him. 

“I heard the sounds of… Crying.  Scanning complete.  Jack, you have lost a lot of blood and your arm is… bleeding.  You require stitches.  Shall I call the police?” Hiro blinked calmly. 

Then promptly flipped Baymax off. 

“I’m sorry, I do not understand your anger,” Baymax said.  “This is an urgent matter.  Shall I call the police?” Baymax blinked. 

“Don’t call the police, shut down, Baymax!” Hiro hissed, grabbing some tissues and using them to clean up the blood. 

“You seem panicked, Jack-My-Sugar-Daddy, is there any way that I can assist you?”

“DON’T MOTHERFUCKING CALL ME JACK,” Hiro shouted at the robot.  He was beyond pissed, and Baymax happened to be the victim.  That was okay, though, because their upstairs was soundproofed (thanks to many metal-working hours that disrupted the café), and Baymax did not have emotions. 

“You said that your name is Jack, your sugar daddy.  Is that not you name?  Were you perhaps… joking or… lying?” Baymax asked. 

“Shut the fuck up, you _son of a bitch_!” Hiro yelled, only more quietly this time.  He punched and hit Baymax’s vinyl outer shell desperately.  “Just shut up!  Can’t you see that _I need to do this on my own?!_   Leave me alone!  I don’t need the police; I don’t need Tadashi; I don’t need any of this bullshit!  Just piss off for fuck’s sake!”

“I’m sorry, I do not understand the slang that you have used.  Could you explain?”  Baymax said, grappling to understand and tilting his head. 

“NO!  I _CAN’T_ EXPLAIN, THAT’S THE PROBLEM, I CAN’T EXPLAIN AND I DON’T WANT TO,” Hiro screeched before falling down and sobbing.  He was so dizzy and tired.  He was just… he was just so, _so_ tired.  He just wanted to sleep for forever. 

No, he wished that he was the happy-go-lucky person he used to be, before he was even a bot fighter. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.  Why do you not wish to explain?”

“Ignore it, Baymax.  Please shut down.”

“I cannot shut down until you tell me that you are satisfied with your care.  Jack, are you satisfied with your care?” Baymax asked.  Hiro’s stomach churned.  “You are still experiencing several medical problems.  You are running low on red blood cells, and you show symptoms of being severely depressed.  Your BMI is also very low.  I would suggest a three-thousand-calorie diet.”

“I’m satisfied with my fucking care, Baymax.”

“Okay.  Goodbye.”

Baymax returned to his dock and started deflating. 

Hiro quickly started cleaning up.  He realized that he really had to close up his wound, so he hurried to the bathroom and took a shower.  Grabbing the first-aid kit so that he was able to bandage up his arm, he hid himself underneath his hoodie for security. 

When Hiro returned to his room, he noticed that it smelled heavily of blood.  He took a deep breath and laid down on his bed.  He needed to wash his floors really well, but he just didn’t have the energy at that moment. 

Instead, he went on his phone, scrolling through Tumblr.  He did so blankly, not laughing at anything and seeing a lot of posts on self-harm. 

After all, he had had his Tumblr for only about a day or so, since Rose showed him the site.  It was convenient for mindlessly scrolling through things when he didn’t have the incentive to care. 

An hour later, he cleaned his floor from the smell of blood and opened up the windows and door so that the smell of the cleaners would dilute itself.    

-

**One Month**

It had been two weeks since Hiro had done anything self-destructive. 

Finally, he cut, but that was all.  He hadn’t hurt himself too badly and it wasn’t actually _that_ bad of a thing, he convinced himself. 

Aside from cutting himself, though, it was about a month before anything happened to Hiro.  After that quiet month, however, Rose got mad at her boyfriend again and called Hiro up to fuck him.  They “met up” four times in two weeks. 

Then, Rose got back with her ex again.  Hiro chuckled on the phone and nodded, telling her that it was fine and that he was happy for her.  Then he cut himself again, but not nearly as deeply as the time that Baymax had found him.  Tadashi didn’t show any signs of knowing that anything was going on, aside from keeping a close eye to make sure that Hiro wasn’t bot fighting.  Hiro, of course, wasn’t doing so, so he didn’t even heed Tadashi’s worries. 

Hiro had erased the incident of his last bot fight from his mind, doing his best to pretend it didn’t happen. 

Not telling anyone and not dealing with it, though, was where the problem had sprouted.  Hiro was a young boy when all of this started.  There were people his age who were older than him, and there were people his age that were younger than him, but he was a young boy.  Some people understand what this means, but others do not. 

Age isn’t always how many times you’ve survived this rock circling around the fireball in space, though.  It’s how many tragedies that you’ve survived.  It is how many sins you’ve committed.  It’s how you deal with life. 

They say that the oldest tend to be the most independent.  This isn’t always true – and, really, when you’re _really_ old and you’ve seen as many wars as I have, you have to be at least a little dependent on others.  But I may be older than the oldest, for they have seen the rise and fall of happiness and know not to trust anyone. 

Perhaps, what I’m trying to say is that the age of Hiro when this even happened wasn’t in direct correlation with how many years that had passed.  It was the innocence (or, dare I say, foolishness?) that he had had at the time.  That, however, was torn from him, like a chunk of flesh. 

He had never been hurt like that, though, so he didn’t know what to do.  He didn’t get help, he didn’t clean the wound, and he didn’t do anything the way that it should have been done, so the relatively small hurt festered until it was a yellow, puss-spewing, infected mess that caused so much more pain than it originally would have had he gotten help. 

-

**Three Months**

Hiro decided to move on from Rose and he went out to bar – not the one he had met Rose in, though.  This one was a gay and an attractive, gruff, tall and Japanese guys flirted the fuck out of him.  He asked Hiro on a date and they didn’t fuck until after they went on their first date.  The other, Ross (the irony of how similar his name was to Rose’s wasn’t lost on Hiro), was obviously a top, and he was controlling as well.  Rose, however, was controlling in a different way than Rose.  In a lot of ways, the girl was a voice of reason to Hiro.  Ross, however, was a jerk and hopelessly stupid.  Sure, most people weren’t as smart as Hiro, but at least Rose had the ability to compete with Hiro thanks to her blunt attitude.  Ross was not able to compete, and Hiro had taken to teasing him on his lack of IQ in a manner that Ross didn’t quite understand. 

Ross also said nothing about Hiro’s cuts on his arm.  Hiro wasn’t as glad about that as he thought he would be.  Sure, his secret was safe, but he had felt like it was a bigger deal than Ross made it out to be or something. 

They dated for four peaceful months, without Hiro telling Aunt Cass or Tadashi, before anything happened. 

Both Tadashi and Cass had found Hiro wasn’t bot fighting and were glad about that.  Other than that, they mostly left him to his own devices. 

Hiro could have really done better, though.  He was only fifteen (he had had a birthday), but his lover was twenty two. 

When _something_ happened, though, Hiro didn’t do anything.  He let the _something_ happen, and in a way he kind of enjoyed it.  Sure, he was in pain, and a lot of emotional pain, but it gave him a reason to be sad that wasn’t situated in the past.  Besides, he really liked the guy so he had no reason to leave Ross…

Even though Ross hit Hiro when he was angry. 

Only when his temper would go off the wall, though.  He didn’t just hit him for fun, he hit Hiro when he was especially irritated about something. 

Two months after the first time that Hiro got hit, he introduced Ross to Tadashi.  Tadashi was not happy about Ross because he was older than Tadashi himself and he really did not approve.  Hiro, however, insisted that it was true love… until he found out that Ross was cheating on him.  He forgave Ross the first time and the second time, but the third time he gave up. 

He cried at Tadashi.  He sat in Tadashi’s bed and sobbed and cried but didn’t tell Tadashi what happened until he had calmed down and put all of his walls back up.  He simply said that Ross had broken up with him and then never said anything of the subject again.  Tadashi, while confused, was glad that Ross was out of Hiro’s life.    

Rose had said that she wanted to fuck a couple times while Ross and Hiro were dating, but each time Hiro refused.  This time Hiro texted her, saying that if she was available, she knew where to find him. 

The next text he got from her was only two words long. 

_I’m here._

They went out, they got alcohol, they got smashed together and they fucked.  Hiro snuck back into his room rather drunkenly.  He didn’t wake up Tadashi. 

The next day he spent the first half of it nursing a hangover and scrolling through Tumblr.  The second half he spent getting drunk again with Rose and then fucking her and sneaking back in. 

This went on for a couple weeks (save for a few days because Rose still had school and couldn’t keep showing up hung-over or she would ‘ _cry until there was no alcohol left in her body’_ ).  She commented on how he had a lot of scars on both his arms and his thighs.  He shrugged.  She took a picture and the deep scar of the word _JACK_ and posted it to Tumblr, but Hiro didn’t have anything to say about that. 

One night, Hiro looked at himself.  He _really_ looked.  He was really fucked up, too.  He barely ate, and that was the _least_ of his problems.  He fucked a girl who he didn’t know the real name of or anything about, he have given everything that was left of his heart to a guy that hit him, he got drunk _at least_ three times a week (and sometimes gave himself an eye-opener to get through a particularly hard day), and he hadn’t invented anything in months. 

At least, not anything substantial or worthy of himself. 

Tadashi and Aunt Cass noticed that he seemed sad, but Tadashi told their aunt that Hiro was going through a bad break up.  She nodded, sighing.  She knew that feeling all too well and decided to give him space, which was probably the worst thing to do in this situation. 

Hiro had never dealt with the root of his problems.  He never would, either.  He had nearly forgotten that he had been raped after bot fighting. 

Something sparked up an idea in the back of his head, which made him get out Mega-Bot and log onto the bot fighting site (after hacking past the new password system). 

He was going bot fighting. 

-

**One Year**

The air smelled like smog, there was adrenaline coursing through his veins, and he was practically shaking from anticipation.  He was jumping around while he fought, which was something he hadn’t done since he was first bot fighting.  If you did that, then you were asking to be killed.  Though, in a way, Hiro _was_ asking to be killed. 

Hiro destroyed bot after bot.  He was either going to get _extremely_ drunk with the money that he won and get the courage to overdose, or he was going to get killed here.  Those were his options.  That’s what he wanted to happen.  Technically, the latter wouldn’t be suicide, either, because he would have been killed.  Hiro much preferred that. 

When he destroyed all of his opponents, Hiro looked around, smirking.  “Is this all?  This is it?  I’m a _kid_ , and you can’t even manage to kill this little bot?  What’s wrong with you guys?” Hiro taunted.  There was a series of boos and people threw bottles at him.  He had a large amount of money in the bowl in front of him.  He took it all and shoved it into his pockets.  “I’m genuinely disappointed,” he said, guiding the robot to jump into his hood.  He walked away, some bills falling from his pocket as he walked.  The people grabbed them up like wolves. 

When Hiro left the area, he was immediately jumped.  He smiled, looking at the person who had him pressed into the wall in the eyes, the cool feeling of a gun against his head.  Hiro smiled calmly, relief washing over him.  “Finally,” he sighed.  “Please, put me out of my misery,” he said, sounding insane – though, if this were any other situation his voice would have sounded perfectly sane.  He put his hand on the gun, gathering up the courage to put his finger over the other’s and press down on the trigger. 

The robber was shocked and stared Hiro in the eyes.  Hiro stared straight back, the fact that he was still alive being far too apparent for his own liking. 

“I-I didn’t think… it wasn’t loaded and you… you could have died!  You would have made me a murderer!” The robber bawled.  Hiro scoffed and began walking away. 

“This entire night has been sorely disappointing,” he threw over his shoulder, his hands shoved into his hoodie pockets. 

**_BANG!_ **

Hiro’s body hit the ground and the bills from his pockets went flying.  They were instantly collected from the wind and the blood poured from Hiro’s shoulder.  He wasn’t dead, but he was definitely wounded, and his money was taken by thieves like ants on sugar.  He gasped, not really feeling the pain yet.  Someone walked by and he stared up at them, gasping in pain and realization. 

“Please, don’t, _don’t do it_ , please, I don’t want to die, I want to talk to my brother,” Hiro sobbed, his hand cupping the bullet wound desperately.  “I want my auntie, I want to have the rest of my life, I have so much to live for but I didn’t even know…”

**_BANG!_ **

-

Tadashi covered his mouth with his handkerchief, trying his best to hold back a sob.  Aunt Cass was crying into his chest.  They were burying his little brother, who had been found two days after he went missing.  He was found in the purlieu of the bot fighting district.  He was covered with scars – including ones such as the word _Jack_ on his wrist.  The boy, however, was shot through the head.  They had a closed casket funeral because of it. 

They invited Ross and Hiro’s mysterious friend, Rose.  They were the only two contacts in Hiro’s phone aside from family.  Ross cried like a baby.  Rose didn’t say anything and left early.  A few days later, she was found in a drunk-driving accident and then was admitted into rehab.  She got help.  She forgot about Hiro with time.  She went to live with her dad and her step-mom, too, and things got into a form of normal. 

Tadashi didn’t ever get over Hiro.  He blamed himself because he _saw the signs_ but he didn’t do anything.  He knew that Hiro was hurting and he did nothing.  He didn’t ask Hiro on a regular basis if he was okay and he didn’t even listen when Baymax said that he was depressed. 

When they got home, he went upstairs and look off his jacket.  Aunt Cass was baking her emotions away and eating like hell. 

Tadashi began crying on Hiro’s bed.  It smelled like the boy himself.  He cradled the pillow sadly. 

“Hello, my name is Baymax, and I will be your personal caretaker.  I hear sounds of distress when you… cried… Scanning complete, diagnosis: Sadness.  If this persists for too long, I would suggest seeing a physician to check for mood complications.  Is there any way that I can help you?  Maybe… talking can help,” Baymax said.  Tadashi sighed. 

“Hiro, I’m sad.  Remember…” Tadashi’s breath hitched when he noticed that Hiro had called himself Jack to Baymax.  “Do you remember Jack, your sugar daddy?”

“Yes, I remember Jack, my sugar daddy.  Would you like me to pull up the files for Jack?  He has had a total of… two, checkups,” Baymax said.  His voice was terribly robotic in Tadashi’s opinion. 

_Two checkups… what about the second one?_   He thought, biting his lip.  “Roll the tape for the second checkup, Baymax.”

His marshmallow stomach showed Hiro, tears streaming down his face, blood streaming down his arm.  Baymax went on about scanning Hiro and how he was bleeding.  Tadashi watched his broken brother, his heart breaking all over again.  This was worse than seeing him dead, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop the tape or look away.  He watched Hiro flip Baymax off. 

Baymax asked again if he needed the police. 

Hiro started to clean up, and then Baymax called Hiro _Jack_.  Hiro exploded.  He watched Hiro cry and sob and he knew that he should have helped his poor little brother.  He was so broken and hurt, but he didn’t even notice it.  This hurt Tadashi.  He should have known, he should have seen the signs. 

_Can’t you see that I need to do this on my own?!_   Tadashi sobbed, curling up on his bed. 

Oh, Hiro, you never needed to be on your own.  You were never alone, you just have to make it clear and reach out to us.  You could have told us…

But now it’s too late.  There’s nothing that we can do for you when you’re dead, Hiro Hamada. 

Tadashi destroyed his room.  He broke everything that he had, taking his rage out on the world.  Baymax stood there helplessly, watching his creator go through the stages of loss without being able to do what he was designed to do: help.  Eventually, Tadashi wore himself out, the room being trashed.  Baymax picked up his patient and tucked him into bed.  He then sat there and watched his creator sleep, waiting to be told if they were satisfied with their care. 

Tadashi was satisfied, but he didn’t smiled for a long time after that. 

**End**


End file.
